So I'm sitting at home depressed on my school break . I'm so lonely just for a friend that I can trust but that's such a hard thing for me either I trust to easy and get hurt or push them away I just don't no anymore this life thing sucks lol I should be in joying my 20's not sitting at home crying. all I do is think about what happened to me in wounder if they are going to get the person that did this to me. for about 2 months I have been waking up in night sweats because even In my dreams I think about it.

want someone

what would if feel like to have a best friend someone that is always there for you no matter what some body to trust and someone to kick you in the ass when you needed it. All I want is a best friend to help me get over this horrible thing that this man did to me, help me get back my self I want me back. I think that I'm a good friend I think that I'm a good girlfriend. what wrong with me why don't I have either.

I'm feeling better to day for the first time in over a week my doctors did not fill my meds for me and I was out for a week. it got so bad that I almost went to the hospital you know the 4Th floor. I got so angry that I almost called my x friend who's house it happened at to tell he how much i hate her and that its her fault that this happened to me but I didn't.
Know that I'm back on them I'm doing better. A friend that i met working with called me the other day to hang out I was so happy to her from him he is the only one that I can talk to about what happened and I know deep down he really cares. he ask me "what can he do to help me" and that made me feel like wow someone does care about me. but the sad thing is I don't know what to do to get past what happened I refuse to except it. He was begging me to stop taking my meds that they where no good for me, I told him there is no way I could do that right now. I'm so scared of my life I have no idea where its going to take me and how to deal I'm all alone I have no one to fall back on.

Im so angry!!

I'm so angry at everything! I hate myself I just don't know what to do anymore nothing seems to take the angry and pain away my life is so pitiful I cant seem to do anything right. Am I ever going to get better?

Feeling stressed

Today I for some reason my anxiety has very hi. I only have 2 months left of school I'm getting scared what if I don't find a job I haven't work in like 8 months its going to be so hard to get back in to work mode. Thad's all I think about I have to get a job. Some lady call me to day she said that she seem my resume and if I could comet an interview I was so happy but I think that it is to good to be true she said that I would make 60000 a year that why I think it to good to be true but I'm going to go to it and see but it bum's me out cause I cant start working till February.