right know I feel like taking a hole bottle of pills to numb the pain. I feel so ugly fat and gross is such a loser I have no job my internship suck and didn't get a job out of it which I don't thing that I wanted to work for them any ways.

so i haven't posted in a long time well I finished up school and I'm no on my externship I'm working at a foot clinic it s going OK haven't decided if I like it so far I'm don't what to make any mistakes I feel like a fish out of water. so I'm still a lone that's not a surprise I don't no when I will ever find some um really tied it like 12:30 and I want to go to bed but I'm at my friends house and they are up watching a movie and I feel so out of place. tomorrow we are going to the st Patrick's day parade hop its fun.

I need someone to talk to I'm so lonely and feel like shit I dropped out of school and have no job I feel like a failed. why to hell do I have to have this disease! so far no medication has been able to make the sadness go away. I don't know who to trust I want a boyfriend so bad but I feel like I can never trust a man every man that I have cared about has hurt me or let me down. all I do is sit in my room and watch TV I feel like I'm going insane I need to scream or punch something so bad aaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!